Preface

Gotta Bang 'Em All!
Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/60858895.

Rating:
Teen And Up Audiences
Archive Warning:
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category:
M/M
Fandom:
SixTONES (Band)
Relationship:
SixTONES Ensemble/Everyone
Characters:
Tanaka Juri, Kouchi Yugo, Kyomoto Taiga, Matsumura Hokuto, Jesse Lewis, Morimoto Shintarou
Additional Tags:
Canon Universe, Juri's life is hard, Attempt at Humor, Bad Puns, Crack, member love, everyone loves everyone, Everyone Bangs Everyone, Some Juri/Jesse action
Language:
English
Stats:
Published: 2024-11-26 Words: 3,220 Chapters: 1/1

Gotta Bang 'Em All!

Summary

But the more he tackles those thoughts, the more it seems that it is not just Jesse. It's all of them.

Notes

"Just some silly OT6 stuff again because we love them and can’t wait for the new album!

Gotta Bang 'Em All!

Juri sits phone in hand on the couch in the break room and scrolls through TikTok. Not that he's paying attention to the videos that much because his brain is too busy looping in weird thoughts.

 

He's come to the conclusion that he might have a problem.

 

It started innocently on the other day: he saw Jesse's abs. Just a flash of them in the dressing room, shining under the lights, and it's all he has been thinking about for the past few days. Who let that guy walk around looking like a Greek statue, and why hasn't Juri appreciated those abs and the whole man behind them that much before?

 

But the more he tackles those thoughts, the more it seems that it is not just Jesse. It's all of them.

 

Hokuto has that stupid model-off-duty vibe that somehow makes him both aloof and impossibly hot. He wears fashionable (and not so fashionable) clothes like they're custom-made for his hot body, and his speaking voice is so low and smooth that Juri gets shivers from it whenever he hears it.

 

Then there's Taiga, who has that delicate, almost otherworldly charm, making him seem like someone who stepped out of an old painting. His handsome, beautiful face is almost unreal with soft symmetrical features and lips that curve just right.

 

Kochi is deceptively dangerous. He's not the loudest or flashiest, but his smile? Deadly. It's the kind of soft smile that sneaks up on one, makes one suddenly think, huh, he's actually really hot, and then one can't stop thinking about it.

 

And Shintaro… oh no. Shintaro's glow-up makes Juri almost mad sometimes. It's weird to think that one day, Shintaro was just a lanky little brother figure, and the next, he's got broad shoulders, manly facial features, and toned arms.

 

Juri groans aloud. They're all so stupidly attractive. And the thing is, it's not like that is news to him. He's known those idiots for years. He's seen them at their best and worst, and yet somehow, lately, his brain has started focusing a little too much on their best.

 

He's been thinking it a lot recently and he's come to the idea that refuses to leave his mind. Shagging them wouldn't be disgusting at all.

 

It's not even like Juri is prudish about physical affection with his members. If anything, he's the opposite with all the hugs and little touches he gives to them. He's even kissed all of them before. Sure, only at concert afterparties or during their end-of-year bonenkai when everyone's a little too tipsy and sentimental. But more than that? Never.

 

There's this unspoken rule in their company regarding everyone's own members: kisses are fine, and a little reckless fun at parties is okay, but anything beyond that is apparently a bit like a taboo. It's apparently something about "preserving the group dynamic" or whatever. Yet, Juri has started questioning whether it would be that big of a deal.

 

Maybe he’s just horny. But when he thinks about his options for dealing with it, none of them seem appealing. Random hookups with someone from the same company but outside the group? Too complicated, they barely even see each other with their mismatched schedules. A secret girlfriend? Even worse with all the paparazzi, NDAs, and way too much effort. A one-night stand with a total stranger, maybe a foreigner from a bar? The ultimate hassle, not to mention the potential language barrier and not understanding each other.

 

But his members? They already know each other. They've shared hotel rooms, slept in the same beds, changed clothes, bathed together, and talked about things no one else would understand. There's no need for awkward small talk or explanations about what their jobs require and mean.

 

Plus, they're all hot. And talented and fabulous. And, most importantly, they are just them.

 

He's come to the conclusion that he seriously has a problem.

 

"Aah!" Juri voices aloud. "I'm losing it."

 

"Losing what?" Shintaro asks, suddenly appearing out of nowhere.

 

"My mind," Juri blurts. Shintaro raises an eyebrow.

 

"Right. Cool. Don't go crazy before rehearsal," Shintaro says before walking away.

 

-----

 

If there's anyone Juri can turn to for semi-serious advice about his extremely non-serious problem, it's Hokuto. After all, Hokuto is logical, mature, and annoyingly philosophical but freak enough not to be shocked by anything Juri would say to him. If anyone can make sense of Juri's mental spiral, it'd be Hokuto.

 

"Hokuto," Juri begins seriously as he spots him in the break room.

 

"Yeah?" Hokuto hums.

 

Juri comes to sit next to Hokuto on the couch, doing his best not to appear too nervous. He probably fails spectacularly.

 

"Hypothetically," Juri starts, making sure he puts weight on the word, "if one of us, um… hooked up with another member, do you think it'd be awkward afterward?"

 

Hokuto gives Juri a weird look.

 

"Define 'hook up.'"

 

"Like sex. But you know, hypothetically."

 

There's a beat of silence as Hokuto takes a long sip of his tea bottle, studying Juri with that unreadable expression he's so annoyingly good at. Finally, he speaks.

 

"What do you mean hypothetically? Anyway, I wouldn't know about that. It wasn't awkward for me."

 

"...Huh?"

 

Hokuto sets his bottle down on the side table. "I said, it wasn't awkward for me. Like, after it happened. We were cool about it."

 

Juri stares at him. "Wait. Are you saying—"

 

"Yes," Hokuto doesn't even let him finish.

 

"With who?" Juri's voice jumps an octave.

 

"Well, I'm not telling you that," Hokuto says.

 

"But—you did?" Juri goes on. "You've actually—oh my god, how did this happen?"

 

Hokuto gives a half-smile. "Well, it's not that deep. We talked about it, it happened, and that was it. Nothing more, nothing less."

 

"Nothing more?" Juri repeats. "How is that even possible? Aren't you constantly thinking about it when you see them?"

 

"Not really," Hokuto says. "We're adults. It's just sex. Anyway, why are you asking this?"

 

Juri feels his face heating up. "Well, I'm just curious! But—wait—what would your member-in-crime think if they knew you told me this?"

 

Hokuto laughs softly. "Relax. Like I said, I'm not spilling anyone's secrets here although I'm pretty sure they wouldn't mind. And anyway, you're the one who brought it up. Hypothetically."

 

Juri groans, burying his face in his hands. "I can't with this conversation."

 

"You started it," Hokuto reminds him, and the smirk on his face is absolutely insufferable. "I'm surprised you're so shocked over this, honestly."

 

Juri leaves the room, muttering to himself about how Hokuto's at the same time too cool and too weird for his own good.

 

-----

 

Juri enters the dressing room, and luckily, there's a person Juri was hoping to meet. Shintaro barely glances up when Juri goes to him.

 

"My life just changed," Juri starts with a serious face.

 

"What?" Shintaro doesn't even flinch, probably so used to Juri's dramatics already.

 

"I need to tell someone about this before my brain explodes," Juri says, his hands flying as he tries to form coherent sentences. "So, I— okay just listen because this is insane—I just discovered that Hokuto has slept with one of us. One of the members."

 

Shintaro looks at him, tilts his head, and furrows his brows slightly.

 

"Aaaaand?" he then asks.

 

"And?" Juri repeats. "That's all you've got? No bigger reaction? You're not shocked?"

 

Shintaro shrugs. "I mean, Hokuto's hot, right? So it shouldn't be surprising to anyone, to be honest."

 

"But he's slept with one of us! " Juri practically yells. "One member from SixTONES! "

 

"Well, Hokuto isn't surely the only one. I mean, haven't we all done that at least once with someone?" Shintaro asks.

 

Juri stares at Shintaro like he's grown a second head. "What did you say?"

 

"Haven't we all slept with at least one member?" Shintaro repeats and then adds. "At least I have my variety of experience."

 

"No way," Juri says and shakes his head. "That can't be true."

 

Shintaro gives him an amused look. "Pretty sure I'm not wrong. I mean, we've been together for years, and we're all men with needs. Stuff happens. You never thought it'd make sense that stuff happens when it comes to everyone?"

 

"Thought? " Juri screeches. "You think I should've thought something like that?"

 

Shintaro shrugs again. "Obviously I can't be 100% sure. But that's just my feeling. Anyway man, if you're that curious, you can always ask others," he says, ignoring Juri's question.

 

Juri looks at him. "You're saying I should go around and ask the others if they've… if they've…" He can't even finish the sentence.

 

Shintaro grins, clearly enjoying Juri's meltdown. "Why not? It's not like you wouldn't be close to all of us. Not to mention that you're not exactly the innocent one."

 

Juri groans, flopping into the nearest chair. His perspective of life has changed, and Shintaro's just sitting and talking like this is all perfectly normal.

 

"I hate this group," Juri mutters.

 

"No, you don't," Shintaro says smugly. "You're just mad you're probably the last to figure it out."

 

"If you're wrong, I swear—"

 

"Go ask then," Shintaro says with a wink. "You'll see."

 

-----

 

Juri finds Kochi sitting cross-legged on the floor of the lobby. He's scribbling something in a notebook, probably some new drawing to show on his blog.

 

"Kochi," Juri says.

 

Kochi doesn't look up, but he pauses his scribbling. "What's up?"

 

Juri sits down in front of him, crossing his arms. "I have a question. And you have to answer honestly."

 

Kochi looks at him. "Okay?"

 

Juri leans in, lowering his voice. "Have you ever slept with one of our members?"

 

He watches Kochi closely, expecting some kind of a strong reaction. The big surprise with super awkward laughter, maybe. Or a firm denial. Yet, instead, Kochi shrugs lightly and then goes back to his notebook.

 

"Yeah, of course," Kochi says casually as if Juri just asked him if he's ever tried miso soup.

 

Juri blinks. "What do you mean 'of course'? "

 

"I mean, yeah, I have," Kochi replies, setting his notebook aside. He looks suddenly slightly confused. "Why are you asking?"

 

"Because that's not an of course kind of answer!" Juri squeaks. "That's a what-the-hell kind of answer!"

 

"Um, what is this conversation even?" Kochi asks.

 

"This is me trying to figure out how I've been with this group for over a decade and apparently missed the part where members are shagging each other like it'd be all normal," Juri says.

 

Kochi laughs, shaking his head. "I can't speak for the others. But for me, it's never been that big of a deal."

 

"Not that big of a deal?" Juri repeats. "Kochi, it's huge! I thought we had, like, boundaries!"

 

Kochi shrugs. "We do. But stuff happens. Nobody's making it a big thing, so why should it be anything more than that?"

 

Juri stares at Kochi, his brain working overtime to process. "You're telling me you can just hook up with someone in the group and then act like nothing happened?"

 

Kochi nods slowly. "Yes. Pretty much."

 

"Pretty much?" Juri repeats and feels like he's soon going to become a broken record by repeating everything Kochi is saying.

 

Kochi lets out a thoughtful hum. "You should talk with Taiga about this. He's got good stories."

 

"...Kyomo?!"

 

-----

 

Juri's once-unshakable confidence in his members' innocence is hanging by a thread. But there’s still one last hope: Kyomoto Taiga.

 

It takes some time, but Juri sighs in relief when he finally spots him.

 

Taiga is seated by the mirror wall at the dancing rehearsal room, scrolling through something on his tablet. He looks up at Juri's dramatic entrance, one eyebrow quirked.

 

"What's with the face?" Taiga asks. "You look like someone just told you we're permanently switching to 5 AM rehearsals."

 

Juri simply points at Taiga with a finger.

 

“Kyomo. Please tell me, right now, that you have never slept with anyone in our group. Please. You’re my last hope.”

 

Taiga blinks at him. "What are you even talking about?"

 

"Just say it," Juri demands. "Say you've never done that kind of stuff with any of the members."

 

Taiga sets his tablet down. "What the hell. Of course I've done that kind of stuff with them. What kind of a question, or no, accusation is that all of a sudden? What makes you think I wouldn't have?"

 

Juri's mouth falls open. He stumbles back a step like Taiga just personally shot a deathly blow to his heart. "No way. You're supposed to be the boring one! The nerd one! The professional one!"

 

Taiga laughs, clearly finding Juri's outrage amusing. “Hey, I’ve been in the company the longest. I know, I’ve known some of you since we were kids. But you seriously think that means I’m somehow immune to stuff happening? It’s actually the opposite."

 

"Yes!" Juri throws his arms up. "If someone, I trusted you! I thought you'd be above all that!"

 

Taiga's laugh dies down as he eyes Juri curiously. "Are you trying to say you haven't done anything with any of us?"

 

Juri can feel his face turning red. "That's not the point!" he snaps.

 

"Wait," Taiga continues. "Are you seriously telling me that you've never slept with anyone in our group? Not even once? "

 

Juri crosses his arms. "I'm not answering that."

 

"Oh my god," Taiga gasps delightfully.

 

"Kyomo, I swear—"

 

"This is incredible," Taiga goes on, clearly mentally reveling in the moment.

 

Juri groans, dragging his fingers down his face like it's about to melt. "This group is the worst. The actual worst."

 

Taiga chuckles. "Don't worry. We know you still love us."

 

-----

 

Jesse glances up when Juri approaches, his grin widening.

 

"Juri! What's up?"

 

Juri doesn't bother with preambles. "How many members of us have you had sex with?"

 

Jesse looks surprised maybe half a second, before tilting his head thoughtfully. He starts counting on his fingers, murmuring under his breath as he goes. "Kochi, Shintaro, Taiga, Hokuto… yeah, I think all four of them."

 

Juri gapes at him. "You can't be serious. You've slept with everyone except me? "

 

Jesse flashes a sheepish smile. "I mean, yeah. Seems like it."

 

Juri can't help feeling offended. "What the heck, Jesse! Am I not attractive enough for you? Or is this some kind of personal vendetta?"

 

Jesse laughs. "Oh, no, no. Don't take it like that. Because I have tried, you know."

 

"You've what?"

 

"I've tried making a move a few times, but you're always either too busy to notice or just… asleep."

 

Juri is confused. "I don't get it."

 

"Well, like that time at the tour afterparty," Jesse says, gesturing vaguely. "You left the izakaya before I could even talk to you in private. And then there was that time during rehearsals last month when you looked like you were about to pass out, so I thought I'd just let you go home to sleep. And oh, don't even get me started on that karaoke night. Also, remember that night during the New Year's party when I said you looked really good in that jacket? I wasn't just being nice and polite out of fun, you know."

 

"That was flirting?" Juri snorts. "You tell everyone they look good in their jackets."

 

"Well, still tried!"

 

"I've been out here thinking I'm the most touchy-feely one in this group, and yet we can say that I'm the only one who hasn't had sex with any of you?"

 

Jesse grins. "Sounds like it."

 

"How is that even possible?" Juri groans.

 

Jesse keeps watching him with an amused look. "Well, I mean, if you're feeling left out, it's not too late to start."

 

"Are you serious?"

 

Jesse stands, closing the distance between them in one fluid motion. He places a hand on Juri's shoulder, his voice low and teasing. "Do I look like I'm joking?"

 

Before Juri can respond, Jesse leans in and kisses him right on his mouth. Juri's eyes widen, but he doesn't pull away. Instead, he closes his mouth and lets Jesse move his lips against his for a moment, tasting him.

 

When Jesse steps back, he grins. "So, what do you say? Want to start by having sex with me?"

 

Juri blinks, his brain running for a moment.

 

"Yes. I want to do that," he blurts out.

 

Jesse laughs, slinging an arm around Juri's shoulders. "Alright, then. My place or your place?"

 

Juri exhales sharply, still slightly dazed. "Yours."

 

"Perfect. Let's go."

 

-----

 

Juri always thought waking up in a member's bed would be the most embarrassing part. He's been so wrong. In fact, everything that happened with Jesse the night before was surprisingly smooth, almost too smooth. The only humiliation comes the next day in the recording studio.

 

Jesse strolls in, looking like he's just conquered the world. He takes a completely unbothered sip from his water bottle, as if he didn't do all that dirty stuff he did less than 12 hours ago.

 

"So, Juri," Taiga starts, leaning across the table with that unmistakably pointed look on his face. "Anything exciting happened last night?"

 

"What?" Juri asks, all fake innocence, even though he can already feel his face turning warm. "Why do you ask?"

 

"Oh, I don't know," Taiga shrugs, "Maybe because you waltzed in this morning looking like someone just gave you the time of your life. A wild night with Jesse, perhaps?"

 

Shintaro bursts into laughter in the background.

 

"Ew! Gross!" Juri snaps. "Besides, he said it's fine to talk about it!"

 

Shintaro leans forward, grinning. "Oh, so you’re admitting it! I already could see it from Jesse's face, but now it’s confirmed."

 

"Confirmed what?" Juri asks

 

"You just outed yourself," Kochi explains.

 

Laughter blasts around the room. Juri groans, and Hokuto pats him on the shoulder.

 

"Wait—" Shintaro says between laughs. "Doesn't this mean then that Jesse's finally gotten the full experience with all of us?"

 

"Yup, the full set," Hokuto deadpans.

 

"Gotta catch 'em all," Taiga adds, embracing his role as the one whose job it is to sneak in a Pokémon reference whenever he can.

 

Jesse just shrugs, flashing that smug grin of his which is both annoying and adorable. "What can I say? I'm a people person."

 

"So, we're just casually talking about this now? Like it's no big deal? While you kept all this as secret from me until now?" Juri asks.

 

"Well, the thing is, it was never a secret among us. You just never asked before," Hokuto shrugs.

 

Juri slumps further in his chair. "So unfair."

 

"Come on," Jesse teases, nudging him. "You had fun, didn't you? That's all that matters!"

 

"We're like a bad drama," Kochi mutters amusedly.

 

"More like reality TV," Hokuto says. "SixTONES version of The Boyfriend."

 

Juri shoots a look at them. "I can't repeat many times enough how much I hate you guys."

 

"No, you don't," Jesse says with a grin that could only be described as triumphant. "We know you can't resist us."

 

And maybe he's right. Because, as embarrassing as the conversation is, Juri can't help the small smile tugging at his lips. Jesse's already done everything Juri was thinking about. And now, with how they're talking about it so openly, maybe it would be okay to follow his lead.

 

After all, it all started with Jesse's abs, so why not keep going down the line?

Afterword

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